A very interesting piece; I like the perspective you told the story from, and the form you chose. The second line of the second stanza I really like a lot: clever and strong. The flow was a bit rocky for me at parts, but overall fit nicely together. One thing that bothered me was that random "yer" in the third stanza. It took me out of the story for a second. I know you can spell, because you did correctly the rest of the time. :P

A good piece.
Keep it up!
Smiles,
N*

I love this poem it is really good
you are a great writer

Wow great job, this poem is long but i was so interested throughout