Comments : What I am (venting)

  • 9 years ago

    by NinjaGirl

    Another simply stunning piece of poetry written by you, David. you present your emotions and thoughts very clearly in this piece, but I don't really believe that you are nothing, because to be nothing, you are something :D
    But, anyway, a very touching piece..

    "I wouldn't be worthy of breathing the air you breathed out
    Stealing your air, I am a thief "
    ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
    i really liked these two lines, they remind me of how I feel for Daimon..

    5/5

    Keep Writing, hun
    As Always,
    ~NinjaGirl~

  • 9 years ago

    by June

    A very touching write...but I have to agree with above...I don't believe you are nothing either.You gotta be something to write such powerful poetry.

  • 9 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    David,

    What a surprise to see you posting again! I have missed you so much! The poem is powerful. but the content is not about you....I couldn't be because you are the sweetest, cutest and dearest friend I ever had and therefore you cannot be all those things you said:)
    You will always have my love,

    5/5 Ingrid
    ps: chin up and back straight, don't you forget it!

  • 9 years ago

    by CrazyCowLady

    David,

    I dont know what to say.
    Something like this is not like you at all
    I am just worried that is was because of me
    But sadly it's the other way around
    I agree with ninjagirl to be nothing you are something...

    Please forgive me

    Hannah 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by Kalee

    It is good to see you posting again, but i really dont like it when you write these types of poems, especially when you write them about yourself. you are not nothing, you are an amazing person who writes amazing poetry. i'm sure a lot of people will agree with me when i say that you are a great person.
    im not going to vote on this poem, even thought i thought i was a great, because i know it doesnt describe the real you.

    Kal

  • 9 years ago

    by rachael

    You know if you were really nothing you wouldnt even be able to write. i know everyone can get depressed. but some ppl, no matter how bad their situation can still be smiling. ppl choose how you feel most of the time. if you think youre nothing then what do you expect other ppl to think?luckily, ppl who know you know you are really cool. i hope that all made snese

  • 9 years ago

    by ShyandHurt

    I know the feeling you talk about and everyone has an "I'm a nobody" moment. You clearly stated what you meant and it blew me away. I really liked this poem. You make it easy to relate to the reader. Very, very good!

    Just remember that a nobody -is- in fact a somebody by being a nobody. :-) I look forward to seeing more of your work!

  • 9 years ago

    by Michelle18

    Good poem.. i've felt this way before.. i dont like the way you have your poem set up.. with all the spacing and everything.. but the poem itself is just amazing. i like it. 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by firexdancer

    I really liked this. The poem was really good, sort of a twisted love poem, from someone who doesn't like himself.
    Really enjoyable and the flow was surprisingly smooth.
    5/5
    Gabriella

  • 9 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    "I am black and I am evil
    I am death and I am misery
    I am heartache and I am a disease
    I am nothing and I am everything you don't want"

    ^^ Wow. This is a really good beginning. It makes me wonder what makes you think you are these things.

    "I am every thought you question about me
    I am every curse you think about me"

    ^^ This is deep. I like the actual feeling behind the piece.

    "I am not even worthy of texting you
    I am not even worthy of talking to you"

    ^^ WOO! I love texting, hahah. Okay, seriously, now -- Like I said previously -- I like how the piece is deep. The words are very genuine, and I like that.

    "I wouldn't be worthy of breathing the air you breathed out
    Stealing your air, I am a thief
    I am no one important
    Simply nothing"

    ^^ Hm. The first line -- I'm not a fan of, personally. "I wouldn't be worthy of breathing the air you breathed out" <--- Maybe you should change this line to something like.. "I'm not worthy of breathing the air that you're breathing". Only a suggestion, of course. However, I do quite enjoy the rest of the stanza.

    Overall; I really liked this. It held a lot of emotion, I feel, and it was truthful and genuine.

    5/5

    -Briana

  • 9 years ago

    by Goran Rahim

    Hey Dave
    As always I enjoyed reading your poem. They are awsome.
    Sorry I'm late in commenting my net was not working.
    Keep it up

  • 9 years ago

    by Filledwithjoy

    Your are simply everything to people.

  • 8 years ago

    by Kelsey

    This poem is amazingly good. I loved it.

    Great job!

    5/5.