Wow. Honestly, I thought some of the rhymes were off, and the flow didn't fit throughout. But the way you wrote the poem, first from the view of the teen and then the boy. It really was an incredibly emotional poem. Using simple words, 'Bang' and the talk of the gangs, rather than complicated vocabulary and riddled lines meant that the full power and impact of the poem was blunt, and incredibly strong.
Amazing write, really excellent.