Wow....this was amazing!! :) I love the dictin you used and how powerful each stanza is. I felt like you put your all into this piece and it really shows. It's not too long and you tell a very sad story. Your title really made me want to read this and I didn't regret reading it. This is really worth the entire read. Really great job here hun. I loved it. Nik
Wow. That was intense. It was amazing. Your best poem possibly. Superbly written, flawless flow, excellent rhythm, steady pace, it reads beautifully, so full of raw emotion, pain, anger, love, sadness, confusion, so much is said in your words, so much is behind each line, so deep and insightful. I loved every second of it.
The title is what caught my attention.
and I am glad it did, because this poem is flawless. great job on this. I adore the second stanza. once again, awesome job! :]
9 years ago
My first thought on reading this poem was WOW, I am actually speechless. The title caught my attention and when I started to read it, I was drawn in and spat out right at the end. I was unhappy that it had come to and end b/c it was such an emotional yet dark piece. I loved every word of it, I liked how it came together so wonderfully.
Personally, my best stanzas were
"Entrenched in the darkness, Forever we drop
Inside of this nightmare, The pain will not stop
Meet with the wicked whenever they come
Explosive resistance, The dead will succumb
I pack up my things and I head for the road
Confession of death,In a breath it is sowed
The force is impressive,dread rings in my ears
Why must this befall me,My greatest of fears"
Well done, 5/5. Em x