I really liked this poem. The detail and emotion was great through out the poem. The wording was great, it was almost like I there seeing everything. The flow was good and so was the format. I gave it a 5/5.
When I was reading it I got this old timey, black and white, detective show way of reading it. You know in old detective shows how they always have the guy with his feet propped at his desk, everythings black and white, his hat is down over his eyes, you can only see the black shadow on his face, and he has that cool jazzy voice narrating...then some sexy girl comes in but that's a different story. That's the immediant thing I felt from the way you had everything written. The personification, the imagery, everything was in such a neat way.
I'm adding this to my favorites, possibly adding you to my favorites, and deffinately nominating this for the weekly contest.
This was just perfect, and the ending was a surprise, it was great. :D laksjfjfdfj 4 billion out of five...If I could. XD Lol.