Blue Payne

by Twisted Heart   Mar 5, 2009


In dark of night she wisps away
Each rosy memory to keep
Along the road of emptiness
Invader of all thoughts in sleep
With hands of gnarled grips she holds
A sword of life that's tarnished blue
to pierce at hearts that love has found
To kill a soul or two.

In embers burnt, the sky turns black
As ashes fall in tears of loss
And heartache weeps into the night
When restless dreams in pain are tossed
Then misery will come along
To taint the life that you once knew
She'll steal away all happiness
When she dips inside heart painted blue

On dusty road of pain she'll tread
In twilight's moon that's turning gray
No hope or faith she'll leave with you
No swan song left to play
Just wrenching soul in tatters found
Upon the night in restless sleep
She'll cut your words with liar's knives
Then leave you there to weep.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Ray Blue

    Nice poem. A masterpiece here!

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Wow...
    Honestly, this is amazing. I find this poem truly flawless from the first to the last line, and can't add any suggestion/critique for the improvement. I admire the vividness of every stanza, your descriptions are superbly dark yet so elegant, and they left me in awe. I wish this write was longer, because every stanza is deeply enjoyable and refreshing. I could clearly imagine everything that you portrayed here, with a hint of eerie atmosphere and amazing choice of words.
    I like the rhythm/flow of the poem, too. You did great job with rhymes throughout the poem.
    All the metaphors are breathtaking. I especially like the ending, it's profound. This is one of the best poems in 'dark' category I've read in a while.

    Greatly done.

  • 16 years ago

    by Lu

    In embers burnt, the sky turns black
    As ashes fall in tears of loss
    And heartache weeps into the night
    When restless dreams in pain are tossed
    ^^^
    Love ... love ... love these lines Jeannie.

    Wonderful woven as always ... the sadness flows through each and every line and holds the readers attention tightly.

    Great read by a wonderful poet ... thanks for sharing Auntie

  • 16 years ago

    by Deana

    Jeannie, I can't even tell you how much I love your work, you have a certain rhythm that flows so smoothly and your rhymes are always perfect! The content hauntingly sad and full of emotion.Love it!

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