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This is really good. lots of emotion
by Baby Rainbow
"The things I use it dream about"
the third line in second verse should read the things i used to dream about?
Someone that can make your head whril.
this line in the last verse should read whirl not whril?
fix these mistakes and i think you got yourself a really good poem. i think a lot of peopl ewho read this will relate to the pain you are left with when you lose someone which you have written well.
it flowed quite good and the emotion ran with it from start to end creating a really moving poem.
and also, anyone who doesnt appreciate you doesnt deserve to be in your life. you deserve better.
good write x
by Dustin S
.....another spectaclular peice by you. I wanna talk to you about this. ((5))
by TJ Arizona Eagle
Very emotional and sad. Intense wording which got your point across powerfully.