For the first part its really great, but does need a few more verses, I thought it was beautifully written, expressive of desire, love and pain, and tells the beginning part of an interesting story and relationship.
I like the start of this poem, it had lots of potential.
I liked the 'ending' ....
"I'd die a thousand death's
To spare you an ounce of pain
Or a chance to return
Where the old you still remains" shows alot of emotion and how you truly feel, 5/5. Em x