Comments : Hollow Heart or Empty Voice

  • 14 years ago

    by oldthings

    Alright, so i'm anoyed, i just wrote out a long review for this becuase i liked it so much and the pushed the back key by accident instead of the backspace key, very annoying. Anyway.

    this was another great poem, your use of language really make all your poems special, your ryhmes aren't overused and thats always a very nice bonus.

    the flow was flawless, never did i have to go back and re-read something, though once i was finnished i went back and re-read the whole thing anyway.

    the emotion and imagery was great, the poem made me feel a sense of pity for the poor person this was written about, but also with the knowledge that what they have they deserve, along with your ending of
    "Give me away like all the rest,
    knowing so far I've been the best." which is just like a final kiss off and rubbing it in their face which i thought was a nice touch.

    another part that i really LOVED was the line
    "You're playing life in reverse
    as if to see the bad disperse,"

    it just works so well, and is just so perfect and feels so right, as if those words were all made to go together, its brilliant, and once again raises that feeling of pity i have for the person living this way.

    great poem, excellent job.