Corner of the Moonlight [Verso Blanco]

by Nee   May 12, 2010


In the heart of
Indelible hues, breathe
memory-clad promises
upon chains. Forevers and evers
lay dormant in the corner of the moonlight
just to wake by sunrise, 'neath the warmth of your faithfulness

Written 12th of May.10 3:55 AM

Syllable count is 4, 6, 7, 9, 11, 14

This is about my best friend, but I don't like the friendship category :D

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_XosyVm9Xaug/S-sHzNgSShI/AAAAAAAAAQ0/WHB8lInxMqI/s1600/forever_by_lifexgoesxon.jpg

4


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Siglawoo

    Not an ordinary friendship poem.... it is different and beautiful..

    and i like your " Nema " Name more. whats the story about knee ?

  • 13 years ago

    by Cindy

    Congrats on your win :)

  • 13 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Nee,

    I read this poem last week, three times actually.. & i've been looking for inspiration to write so i've decided to read it again, & of course leave a comment this time round. First off I want to say congrats on the win, it definitly was deserved. Also well done on trying a different form, it definitly looks challenging & i'd love to give it ago. Of course I couldn't pull it off as well as you did here though :P I also understand the dislike of the friendship category.. it is hard to find a verse there of interest without the cliche and I admit I hardly ever go there. So nice choice in placing it here, I would of aswell.

    Onto the poem itself.

    I enjoyed the use of nouns as Cynnie mentioned above, I think you had some excellent insertions, some clever wording & unique phrases. That's what grasped me with this piece. The elegance of the wording & the cleverness.

    Everything is spot on with syllable count as far as I can see, but of course it would be .. as you are like a perfectionist as I am. I liked the meaning behind it, it was great not to read your everyday friendship poem, you went beyond that, you added emotion & depth.. true friendship which was adoring.

    This piece was a lovely read. Thanks for sharing.

    -Mel

  • 13 years ago

    by Lu

    Nee

    This piece holds the true meaning of friend.

    In such few words you have said so much ...
    and hit every value that a person wishes for in a friend.

    "promises
    upon chains."

    ^^^
    Loved this insertion !
    It gives the reader such a clear image of the strength of the friendship and how it will never be broken.

    Love the meaning within the poem, the imagery created, the wording ... everything together just speaks the words trust and truth so clearly.

    Lovely job on this form Neeeee

    Truly loved it from beginning to end and I know your best friend will love and adore it also.