Comments : Once Upon a Time

  • 8 years ago

    by Minkus

    Nitpicks: None. Good grammar and spelling and nothing was awkward. This is unusual. :)

    It's slightly cryptic, meaning that it hints at a number of things without establishing enough of a center to pull it all together, at least not at first glance, and not to an outsider. Through much of the poem you use poetic phrasing and construction to create certain feels and messages during certain moments, much like some of my own poems. I like that.

    The end is what I have the most trouble deciphering a precise meaning from. I can't figure out if you're asserting that the art of writing is in decline, that while we are constantly connected we never truly communicate anymore, or if you mean something more specific that we don't say anymore. Maybe you simply mean, going back to the car-and-scenery metaphor, that life is not so much like a storybook because we keep so much within ourselves. Only you know!

  • 8 years ago

    by Ixora

    This is probably my favorite poem by you yet. Every word was perfection to my thoughts right now which is what makes it so wonderfully relatable.