His soul strengthens mine,
His smile encourages everyone
He is my number one fan,
A great father and only one
He is far from us to work
His presence is always with me..
And he always reminds me
To be a good boy and prioritize my study
His personality is strong,
Yet full of life.
With authority, courage and love
He is a good husband and a good father,
A good son, a friend and a teacher..
I am proud to bear his name,
To have his blood...
And to be his child.
The words you have used are very meaningful to the attempted style but for me they arnt glued together enough, it doesnt flow well. The structure is kind of there but it could be better. Instead of having so many short lines i think it would be benificial for you to have two short lines together as one long..then a middle stanza of little lines. Id like to have read some rhymes too.
Not a bad effort though, i liked reading it alot regardless.
7 years ago
Wow! This is really really good! It is really kind and a good point of what all dads should be like.