Wow! This is really really good! It is really kind and a good point of what all dads should be like.
6 years ago
by Love Panda
The words you have used are very meaningful to the attempted style but for me they arnt glued together enough, it doesnt flow well. The structure is kind of there but it could be better. Instead of having so many short lines i think it would be benificial for you to have two short lines together as one long..then a middle stanza of little lines. Id like to have read some rhymes too.
Not a bad effort though, i liked reading it alot regardless.