Comments : Young pure boy

  • 7 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    Details: < fade> = <faded>; <lies..> = <lies.> OR <lies ...> (depending on whether it is a typo or you
    want to signify that more is left unsaid)

    "Don't believe in people, they will only disappoint you." That was advice I grew up hearing, but never
    Your portrayal of your friend is akin to the lambaste of a medieval troubadour.
    Even kings were afraid to offend them for fear they would be the butt of humor in cutting satire.
    Somehow, I see your purpose as different, perhaps as a means of awakening him to the superficiality
    that has taken over his persona. If that is the reason for the poem, I both salute you for trying to be an
    agent for good, and wish you luck.
    I wouldn't change a word, but would suggest you consider punctuation.