Comments : Sunrise

  • 5 years ago

    by Kips

    My comments and corrections will be in parentheses.

    It's another day coming,
    ("Here comes another day", instead of the first line)
    My past is now my memories,
    ("My past is becoming a memory")
    I'll let them fade as colours of old photographs,
    Let them shed as leaves of autumn trees.

    ......I love this first stanza.......

    I know how hard it is
    To let go and say a silent good-bye,
    It doesn't matter to whom it good-bye to..
    ("It doesn't matter to who it is said")
    To a bare truth or a beautiful lie...

    Meeting the youthful sunrise,
    I'm breathing the new spring's air,
    My life is going to arise with the sun and...
    (My life rising with the sun, and-)
    And who cares if his love wasn't fair?

    With every breath of cold air
    I feel the warmth filling inside,
    It's the warmth of ardent hopes for love before me,
    I dare believe, I know it's right.

    Everyone was born to be happy,
    That's the only thing I know,(It could be, "That's one other thing I know")
    God gave me the greatest gift he could-
    I can love with all my heart aglow...

    I hope this helps. Overall, I love the way you vividly communicate the message. I can relate to it.