The New Me

Loved it... especially the last stanza
you should read my poem Faith. Great job on concurring self and being born anew.

This is rocking good

"Dreams do come true,
i say to myself after having
witnessed my future me
collide with the present me,
creating the new me"

this is a gr8 way to start the poem love it
"witnessed my future me"
i suggest it to be changed to
"witnessed the future me"
cause my future me doesn't make any sense or maybe its just me
i love how u said that u combined your future self that u saw some how with your present self to create a new and mostly better you

"I longed for change,
for a new beginning
to a life i despised
despite living it daily"

well we all want to change
but the change u mentioned here was some different as it was life u already had but u don't like
that seems so strange and sounds like u are depressed a lot

"I suffered alone inside
closed doors,
with evil thoughts penetrating
my mind, sprouting inside
my brain and what was i to do?"

now you are hopeless don't know what to do feeling powerless and unable to change a thing and feeling you are small being woooow this is amazing i love the mid of this poem its gr8

"With faith like that of
a mustard seed,
i rose and moved the mountain,
conquering, creating the new me"

now u got your hope back u moved on and made the change u longed for
totally amazing ending
and amazing poem
enjoyed reading this alot 5/5 keep writing =)

I loved how you hooked the reader in. I liked the fact that this poem was inspirational and relateable.I liked how you spoke of becoming postive and creating a new you even though there have been hardships. A great wite that is well penned and hopeful.

New you is a wonderful poet & an amazing person. You have a gift of expressing yourself in such beautiful way that everyone could relate to it. Great write friend.

all the best and take care

You put alot of effort in this peice its also very true :)rate this a 20