Comments : Willingly praying along...

  • 5 years ago

    by Odin Ebbesen

    A quit different poem from you, really nice poem, and lovely

  • 5 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    This is awesome Ole, what a beautiful
    poem.

    • 5 years ago

      by Ole Carsten

      Hi D

      I tried to make some thing new, and it seems to have some good points
      thanks for your kindness

  • 5 years ago

    by Kitty Kurse

    "Even there is no voice
    I don't dare make a noise"
    I didn't really get what this line means.

    "What are in your mind? (Should be What is on your mind?"
    Is it peace you will find?"

    "If you are making one quite pray
    Please mention I want to stay"
    This line is filled with emotion.

    "Watching you(r) shining face
    Recalling heavenly lace"

    "Happiness is spreading I know
    Your body shines with inner glow"
    This line has great imagery:)

    "During your praying the lips moves
    I hope mind and body approves

    Suddenly I feel a spirit lifting me
    Seems right and right to be"
    These two lines have great imagery as well.

    "Praying with you is without shame
    I hope we feel and hope for the same"
    This had a lot of flow to it I can tell it came to you easily.

    All together the imagery is great and good write:)

    • 5 years ago

      by Ole Carsten

      So much assist, makes me feel wanted thanks

  • 5 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Hello :)
    I really love the message here, and the fact that you placed this under 'love poems' (instead of life) shows praying is not just a part of life or routine, but it is something bigger.
    Just some tweaks here and there, and this piece would truly shine at its best:

    "Watching your silent praying"
    I suggest: "Watching you silently praying"

    "If you are making one quite pray
    Please mention I want to stay"
    Do you mean 'quiet' instead of quite?
    I suggest you revise this to: "If you are making one quiet pray'r.."

    "Crossing mind a breast with invisible lines"
    abreast is one word :)

    "Suddenly I feel a spirit lifting me
    Seems right and right to be
    I am praying with you, won't stop
    Inside me a glow is building up"

    Now that^^is beautifully written. You just captured that feeling that we feel when praying. Amazing job. Keep writing, sir
    -X

    • 5 years ago

      by Ole Carsten

      Thanks for so many kind words and advices, that is a pleasure

  • 5 years ago

    by Innocent Fairy

    Excellent write 5/5

    • 5 years ago

      by Ole Carsten

      Hi Innocent

      Your comment is short yet cream for me

  • 5 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    I have missed your delightful poems but this one is special. Your talent is evolving and blossoming into a floral display of words..Excellent my friend