Comments : Smile

  • 5 years ago

    by Purple Rose

    Typos: I don't know if you did this on purpose or not, but the word 'Chase' is capitalized in line 21. It might be capitalized because it has a deeper meaning than what I can perceive, but just in case you did I by mistake I thought that I would let you know :]

    Very good poem. The flow was really good and the message was clear. I am sorry for your pain - I can only imagine what you went through if this was true. I believe this was a venting poem for you.

    "But my hearts under lock and key,
    and sadly still soaked in love.
    although I don't want it to be free,
    I know that enough is enough."

    ^ To me, this is probably the saddest part of the poem because you still love the person :(

    "F**k you both and your affair,
    don't tell me that this isn't proof.
    You know that none of this was fair,
    so I'm pulling you like a wisdom tooth."

    ^ Very good stanza right here. It kind of made me laugh when I read the part about the wisdom tooth. I wonder why you picked a wisdom tooth instead of any old regular tooth? There could be a hidden meaning behind that...

    "I was dumb to think you were worth the Chase,
    at least now I'm seeing clear.
    I need to stop wanting your embrace,
    and force a smile past these tears."

    ^ Very good ending. I loved it because it shows that you are trying to move on even though your heart is broken. Good for you, I can tell that you will make it. The person isn't worth it if they do not value your heart.

    Excellent/beautiful/heartbreaking
    5/5

    • 5 years ago

      by XTaintedxBeautyX

      Thank you so much for this comment, it truly means a lot to see others appreciate this piece. you were right with your guess of it being venting poem, much like all my work. As for the typo it was done on purpose because the guys name was Chase and the wisdom tooth part could have multiple meanings; he was there when I got them removed but also they are meant to be there but they hurt so much that they have to be removed.
      Again thank you for the comment, I appreciate it <3