Comments : The Flower....

  • 5 years ago

    by Hellon

    Hey....this is a nice's short, but you get the meaning across really well in your few lines and....sometimes less is more if you know what I mean? Just a couple of things for you to consider please?..

    How are love bloomed
    This line doesn't really make sense right now..I'm not sure why the word are is there?

    How loved bloomed
    by the hour, like the
    petals of a flower. Striking
    colors, hues of gold. Planted deep
    within our souls.

    The romance ended that we
    built, and so to did our flower wilt.
    The petals now a drooping
    frown, washed of color,
    now fades to brown.

    The romance ended that we built sounds a little clumsy to me...

    The romance ended
    as did our flowers wilt

    and...I think it should be faded.

    Still..there's something about this that appealed to me....just my thoughts.

  • 5 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Love Love Love it ....enough said :-)

  • 5 years ago

    by Darren

    1 nit, second line stanza 2 should be 'too' rather than 'to'

    Nice short and sweet poem, great imagery from this, you tell the tale really well.

    like the drooping frown part, links nice to the overall theme of the second stanza.


  • 5 years ago

    by Chelsey

    I really enjoyed your analogy here. Love can always compared to like a blossoming flower and when it ends, like a wilting one. Ive always loved when that analogy is used..

    As much as I thought "gold" and "brown" might be too simple of colors to describe the flower, it actually created awesome imagery and wasnt simple at all.

    nice write!

  • 5 years ago

    by Autuumnbree

    Nice short poem I like that you use a flower to describe how love grows and sometime wither. Nice one

  • 5 years ago

    by Lofallenve

    This poem is so beautiful. <3
    It actually does explain love very well.
    5/5 from me (: