Ok I finally came to comment tho I dk what to say
no word would give enough to this piece of art
I am in love with your vents they always make me think of how you feel cause you always put it behind a metaphor.
this poem for some reason makes me feel like you are talking about a house maybe you used to live in when you were a child and then left it to another place and now you are back to the old house to find it dead and not as you had known it before but you still remember a little about how it was like from your childhood memories which are always mixed with fiction that you can't get the truth from your mind's creation
Edit:the house can be a metaphor for something else a person and place ( not necessarily a house )
I think I might be off with my interpretation but I tried haha
anyway I love this vent a lot and nominated =)
5 years ago
Do you mind if I tell you that you & Mark make a great writing couple? Please do collabs together.
It's like you are the female version of him, and he is the male version of you.
Your first little poem is very powerful and comes across as such an indepth description of such a short moment in time, a very small memory but one that holds all of this meaning for you. It seems to be coming straight from your heart and has a lot of emotion behind it, sadness, desperation for change, loneliness. It is very well done.
For your vent poem, it again held so much emotion from your heart. It is clear this person mean a lot to you, and perhaps is someone you want to hold onto but the drink is driving you away. Alcohol can change people and have a deep affect on relationships no matter what kind of relationship it is. These poems could be describing either. A couple, or friends, or a parent/child. Your ending of this poem had a great impact, it made me think you didn't want to have to walk away from this, but perhaps for your own health and safety you had to. WE sometimes have to take the chance and find out this is how it was meant to be and we go on to bigger and better things.
I really enjoyed this and related to the topic of it. You expressed your emotion so powerfully it really hits the reader. Well done.
I just wonder why you put these 2 poems together under the same title? The title fits them both, and it is a great title, I was just surprised to find 2 different poems.