My gravity

I really adored this poem and thought it was a beautiful idea you created for your challenge.

xx

Very sad, I like the message.

line 3 is fantastic and shows real appreciation for her.

I would half line 6 and make that stanza 4 lines if it was mine, (which it isn't)

great ending, shows real love

clever write Tony

Our eyes eclipse
concealing all aspects of reality ,
The essence of your scent is as beautiful as your canvas -

^^^This is really beautiful, it's such a great opening, it just captivated me, so I love this start and that's always helpful in making me want to keep reading

The life we could create conquers my thoughts, to be able to hold you close in the night,and share with you
the beauty of every sunrise.

^^I wasn't crazy about the layout here, it distracted me from the stanza but besides that it was really delicately written

You are my gravity
that keeps me on earth ,
With out you;

^^^"With out" should be "without", this sounded somewhat cliche, I'm afraid, it didn't sit with me.

I must remain below the stars
Heaven can't be heaven,
If my angels not there.

^^^Such a sad image here, the only thing is "angels" should be "angel's" or "angel is"

I think this piece was really beautiful, it was sad and captivating and some elements were really good
x

Tony this poem made me have goosebumps! It truly is a sad but beautiful piece.... well done!
and congrats! You took this challenge and truly made it your own... very nice piece!!