The unfinished swan

The first line is beyond powerful. It lets you know that someone drastic has happened to alter her life. It just takes one day, actually just a second to change someones life.

Great imagery describing her dancing, you can tell it's her passion... and then of the audience clapping and chanting her name.
Maybe she was dreaming? Since she woke up and was in a dark hospital room, with tubes all around her...and only one leg.
I like the mention of her feeling two legs but only have one... my mother had one of her legs amputated and she said all the time that she still felt it, that it still hurt her.

The ending is beautiful... it shows determination that she will once again dance, somehow, someway. Very touching.

Ok so there isnt much to say that hasnt been said but i have to say the images you draw here are awesome, one of my favs of yours to date...it makes me wonder what prompted this from you, you have used some great word choices here that make the whole piece flow really well and graceful just as a dancer should be....great write me old mucker :)

Ok so there isnt much to say that hasnt been said but i have to say the images you draw here are awesome, one of my favs of yours to date...it makes me wonder what prompted this from you, you have used some great word choices here that make the whole piece flow really well and graceful just as a dancer should be....great write me old mucker :)

Love the first line, it is like 'bang'

You can sense she still drifts back and enjoys those memories when she was able to dance...then the harsh reality hits hard when she wakes.

very sad and some great metaphors throughout.

nice write.

Tony, as promised I am commenting on this piece and IT IS AMAZING! That's the first thing, the title reminded me of "The Black Swan", an awesome film if you've seen it, you'll know, if not, get it LOL

One day changed her whole world.

^This statement was really strong, and to start the piece off with this, really struck out, I know this, one day can change everything for the good or for the worse.

The light shines upon her crystal
white wings,the sweetest of melodies
Fills the room while she dances so
graciously with her compelling beauty.

^The imagery here was soft and gentle, it wasn't vivid as I would have liked but sometimes you don't need that, I was drawn towards an angel, and then with the dancing, I thought fairy but wither way, it was a beautiful stanza

A thousand hands clap as she completes
the dance, her name reverberating
through out the world, finally she is
catapulted up among the brightest stars.

^^^Then I think of a ballerina in a costume, you know, a dancer, like the film "The Black Swan", as I said, its' awesome. I love the use of "thousand" and "brightest", it gives it that detail that a lot of poems miss

Her eyes open to welcome a dark reality,
tubes cover her body, she feels two legs
but only one is visible -

^^^I think of her in an accident, and now dancing with a prosthetic limb, a sad but strong image, but also an image of hope

That moment she swears she will open
her wings and soar once again.

^^And that power, and strength in the end was amazing

Tony, like I said at the beginning, I loved this piece because of the strength and the softness to the tone, and how it flowed and told a story.

A true piece of elegance and talent
x