Comments : On my Wedding Day

  • 6 years ago

    by Amreen

    Beautifully splendid....!!! I couldn't stop smiling all through the piece... The descriptions are so vivid... I love the color of your wedding dress... you must have looked so beautiful.... :)
    The floral henna... I love mehendi.... I have put one currently cuz I like wearing them.... So beautiful Yakori... I can feel your rhythms of a new life and the journey of a girl who is leaving her home to start a new journey and the mixed feelings of that moment.. Godddd... Il be living this soon.....

    • 6 years ago

      by Yakori bint Muhammed

      Aww! sweets thanks in advance for am not yet married. Just a vision of that day, till then in-waiting, lol.
      Appreciate your thoughts always darling.
      Loved your comment loads.
      Hugss ;) ..

  • OMGosh Yakori. This is both so beautiful and so heartbreakingly sad. Is this story true or something of an imagining?

    The descriptions of this piece are absolutely flawless. So much description, but yet not overwhelmingly so.

    Your word choice and arrangement was one of poetic beauty - we are truly blessed to have you alongside our River in LTFR.

    However, the emotion of this piece is slowly increasingly sorrowful as the ceremony dawns nearer for this young bride (which I hope in my heart is not you). I really am against arranged marriages which I am glad are not apart of my culture, but I know is apart of others and it can be deemed a duty to the couple who unite. Though this sorrow is subtle, it speaks loud and clear of the turmoil this person feels deep within their heart.

    A few minor errors, typos likely, in the fourth and fifth stanza, such as:
    "smiles am tired" should be "smiles I am tired"
    "Subtle I feel" should be "subtlety I feel"
    "loosely lie on my wrist" should be "loosely lies on my wrist"
    As I said, very minor details but something you may wish to revise.

    Yakori, a remarkable piece in its written form.


    • 6 years ago

      by Yakori bint Muhammed

      Merci Beaucoup! Appreciate your in-depth comment. Very inspirational and thoughtful. Will work on the errors. I am really glad. Adieu!

  • 6 years ago

    by Meme

    As to the poem itself; its breathtaking and the amount of vivid imageries just makes it so real for the reader to see. You described each detail of that day with a prefect elegance.

    Great piece.


  • 6 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Wow... Yakori! What an amazing poem... I was so captivated from the start... it sounded like a perfect wedding, it all seemed like what every girl wishes for her big day... but towards the end it was evident that the bride was nervous, and unsure about this decision... and it was eating her up. In the end, we learn that it was an arranged wedding. I really enjoyed this poem... even though an arranged marriage is a cultural thing, and varies from country to country, but it exists. Sometimes it works out for the two, but then there are times when it doesn't.

    I really emphasized with the protagonist of this poem... She is clearly pleasing her family and the people around her, and is putting herself last. It just broke my heart to see how unsettled she was about the marriage, but she still went through it and fake smiled for the photos.

    </333 I'm so touched by this. I'm nominating it!

  • 6 years ago

    by Akerele1 Segun22

    Wow, this is nothing than a masterpiece. It does depict well turmoil of 'our' culture of force-merging two innocent souls. I really love it--it's cultural. Keep it up my sister from another mother.