Air (acrostic) (haiku)

by Michael   Mar 26, 2013


Air makes people cold
it creates the flowing breeze
rushing through my hair

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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by BlueJay

    I have to say, I've never seen anyone try to mix an acrostic with a haiku, but I kinda like the way it turned out, especially since you were able to keep both formats in pristine condition despite the coexistence. I think you need a comma at the end of your first line, otherwise, this is perfect. Part of me wishes it were much more recent though, it is definitely weekly contest/ nomination worthy.

    • 8 years ago

      by Michael

      I never would of thought that a poem that I have produced could be weekly contest worthy could you private message me regarding how to enter weekly contests and so on
      Thanks again for reading

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    This is a really lovely haiku you have written. The imagery you can picture really well indeed. I can imagine this being a combination of a couple of weather elements. Wind and winter or cold. The last line tells me that the wind is blowing through your hair, but the first line I feel is key here. You set up the poem nicely, but showing us that is cold outside and that it creates a breeze. The syllable count is spot on for a haiku as well. I really like how you challenged your self by writing an acrostic as well, it flows nicely to form with the rest of the poem. All in all the imagery is stunning because as the reader I can see the scene enfolding and that is what you want with a haiku. 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Kips2.0

    Beautiful Haiku. I enjoy the simplicity in your choice of words. Once again, perfect description!

  • 10 years ago

    by Kips2.0

    Beautiful Haiku. I enjoy the simplicity in your choice of words. Once again, perfect description!

  • 10 years ago

    by L

    Nice haiku,

    it has the 5,7,5 syllables correctly and creates an image of the air flowing through hair as well as it lets the reader know how the narrator is feeling Cold.

    On top of that is an acrostic, Great piece.