There is a small spelling error "I just wanr to let all the colors of the world pass" should be 'want'. Aside from that, the description that you pour into this is flawless. It's vivid without being crude, gives a really strong sense of pure, raw feeling.
You describe each aspect of the lover in such a unique and imaginative way "His kiss decimates my will" which makes the poem seem all the more personal because each description is tailored exactly to him and how he makes the narrator feel.
"Never have I acted like this unable to walk away," I think this line needs some punctuation "Never have I acted like this; unable to walk away," perhaps? Or a colon would work fine as well :).
Wonderful poem, you wrap up the feelings of seduction brilliantly. 5/5 :)
Thank you so much for your kind words. I am glad that you enjoyed this piece. Thank you aso for pointing out the things that I seemed to have looked over when I was posting this. Thank also for the 5/5. :)
4 years ago
by Burning Angel
This poem is amazing. I absolutely love it. You have so much emotion in the words you use to describe your feelings.