This is a very sad peice Hannah though you wrote it sovery well. :). The first stanza is a great eye catcher that really pulls you in and makes me as the reader wwant to keep going. Okay. So you want to forgive this person or maybe you want them to forgive you but either way it's sad. I love also how you say time will be your lover. It really does feel like that in most people because we all go through hurt and everyone says time heals wounds. So I loved the line.
The second half of your poem starts out really strong too. You say that writing will help you heal too. Which I think is also very true. O think also what you are saying is that through every hurt there is a silver lining. You want to think over night and maybe in the morning you will be okay to move on or to even talk to this person who hurt you. Anyway this is a great poem and I can tell you let your feelings out. You have done such a great job with your metaphors and wording. Well done.
The emotion here is strong and penned so beautifully. I love the way you describe time being a lover instead of an obsticle and how you define this person and everything they have done for a false pretense or unloving lover. There are some of the most creative lines I have read in a while in this piece, ex:
and perhaps,you will slapÂ me once more withÂ the formalitiesof deceit.Â
I really really like how something so sad has been made into art that defies all description. And if art is the name we give feelings made public because art doesn't scare people then this is exactly what art should be. Whether you feel this now or not. Stunjing piece. I love the voice on display here
4 years ago
I appreciate the quickness of the lines here. It made me read it in a quickened.. yet.. slowed.. pace? I don't know if that makes sense, but I "rushed" through the lines, with a long breath in between. Time as a lover, what an intriguing way to write this poem. I love the second half of the poem and felt that was the strongest. The opening lines were interesting but I felt they lacked.. something. I can't decide what yet, but it felt lackluster compared to the last half. I do like the image of apologies on the walls of hearts -- abstract art coming my way!
What I love about Hannah's work is that she so often manages to use similes and metaphors in such a creative style, adding her own flair to it; instead of going for the tried and tested and/or becoming cliche. It's truly a pleasure to read her work and it's always poetry that I enjoy.
the walls of
I'm thinking that here, the person you are speaking to has either closed off emotionally from you (Perhaps you have previously hurt him or her, either intentionally or unintentionally?) and they wont want to hear your words OR this person never had a heart to begin with, emotionally they are too cold to be reached?
The next verse has me leaning towards the latter, and I have to mention that I'm fond of the use of slap here as it ties in perfectly with what you're describing-deceit hurts, so does a slap albeit in different ways.
The fourth verse left me smiling a little, it reminded me of the age old saying time heals all wounds-and whilst personally I don't believe that to be true, what is true is that even if those wounds never fully heal, with time you manage to bear them, to live with them and you express that wonderfully here.
induce poetic beauty
from my sorrow. "
Adore this, as this is exactly what you have created with this poem-poetic beauty.
I really enjoyed the ending too, as even though it could be interpreted negatively (i.e, doing this all over again with the same result) I chose to take it positively-you know that you're hurting right now and that you need time to heal but you wont let the fear of being hurt again prevent you from seeking out love as deep down you know it has the possibility to be a truly wonderful thing, and something that you deserve.
4 years ago
by Midnight Sky
This is sad and heartfelt
the 5th stanza my favorite
And after many a moon
has passed and stories
of our mourning has
leaked pass the hours
of morning dew
that holds such strong voice really liked that the poem in all together was very good sad that you had to part from this person but sometimes it is what's for the best you just have get away very good hannah always peace&love midnight sky