Comments : You Feel Like Home

  • 3 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    This reminds me of the Eminem lyric "I guess that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano"
    Some people are just destined to hurt each other, despite the obvious connection they share; it is a destructive one.
    I really did enjoy this,
    All the best,
    Ben

  • 2 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    Needs to be corrected:
    Self destructive due to bad habits

    Suggested correction:
    Self-destructive due to bad habits

    After "I love it", I would suggest a semi-colon instead of a comma.

    I know touching last lines are usually sacrilege, but I would suggest a small rewording on the last few lines. The grammar is very cluttered, and I'm not sure what's supposed to be where, and the comma seemingly out of nowhere, into a semi-colon with a "but" immediately proceeding, then another but with no punctuation before it at all. It really confused me.

    I enjoyed this poem until the confusion at the end, but I still believe it's a great work, one I definitely can relate to. Sometimes people come along and change everything we think we know.

    Sometimes I feel so jaded that if I met such a person now, I'd still let them go.

    I hope you someday get a chance with the person this poem is about!

    5/5
    IdTakeABulletForYou