Suspended here up high
amid the fickle cobwebs
of your lonely room
You have really captured the reader in with your words, you have described the scenery well, I like how you use lonely room, cobwebs, waiting and forgotten it depicts the characteristics as well as type of dream catcher - one that is not used anymore and forgotten, left in a room where sleepers no longer sleep or no longer use, yet the dream catcher is waiting for the sleeper still.
Malevolence wound up in every string.
I know your deepest dreams
They linger here where
innocence wears faded colours,
blending into shadows drawing longer
as the night draws near.
I love how you have seeped deeper, detailing the purpose of a dream catcher. My favourite line would have to be:
"I know your deepest dreams
So true and you have personified this object so well, such a great poetic technique!
And in your nightmare world
my feathers tickle
out the demons you repress
to give them life.
Whilst underneath you squirm,
ensnared in webs
of self sourced
madness and decay.
I like how you incorporated the feathers and how you are making the dream catcher express their hard work taken for granted.
I just have to say - "self sourced
madness and decay." WOW what excellent word choice! talk about a powerful finish!!
btw I also cant wait to see your next poems either :P
Thanks again for participating, Cassie! I've really enjoyed reading your work! You done very well with this prompt.
The dream catcher is pinned high in the room, covered in cobwebs, completely neglected. The owner bought it to steer away the nightmares, the dream catcher continues to do it's job night after night, catching all of the nightmares in it's web. Yet the owner doesn't give any kind of appreciation, they just completely forgot about it. The dream catcher holds all of the negative energy within it's strings, it has no where to release the tension it holds inside. It knows all of your deepest dreams and darkest fears. It sees the signs
night after night, how they try to blend within the shadows so that they can sneak past it... yet it's feathers always find the demons that try to escape and captures them while they are beneath, snoozing away.
I love the dark tone you captured, great job!
3 years ago
by Ben Pickard
"And in your nightmare world my feathers tickle out the demons you repress to give them life" - what a wonderful line.
This poem is a perfect example of your natural flow and descriptive prowess.
All the best, Cassie,