Comments : Escaping Sanity

  • 3 years ago

    by The Fairy Mary Poppins

    She spit out the sedatives lodged
    in the pocket of her cheek,
    rolls down the window and
    exhaled a silent goodbye to
    medicated normalcy.
    ^
    I love this opening stanza this literally explains the story that's about to unfold and apparently she was a naughty little girl that escaped a mental ward and she finally free from what she does since she "exhaled a silent goodbye" very interesting to read in the first paragraph and I truly do enjoy this paragraph but it's not my favorite stanza in this lovely poem

    With a swift snatch, she loots
    her neighbor's half-empty water bottle
    from across the isle. He's drifting into
    a ear-bud induced slumber, he won't
    miss it.
    ^
    Nice way of saying he's hearing music and it's true you have to basically scream or tap that person in the shoulder for them to even acknowledge you so you could literally steal something trivial as a bottle water and they would think that it dropped and not suspect you stealing it from their oblivious mind

    Greedily, she gulps the refreshing
    liquid, shaking the bottle above her
    tongue for every last drop,
    erasing the bitter taste left behind
    from the small, oval pills that she
    hoarded for two weeks beneath the
    weakened seams of a pillowcase.
    ^
    It tells the struggle that she went through for her freedom and how that bottle water was her salvation , no it was in a way her prize for going that long and how she fought her own way out of an asylum very beautiful to be honest yet a little savage?

    Impatient legs pitter-patter
    while she dodges glances on the
    rumbling train. Thoughts of regret
    cloud her mind, panic beats
    within her chest.
    ^
    Now that she has her own freedom she's being to be paranoid about being free and how somebody could call the cops and report her so she would be back where she came from and struggled to get out for 2 weeks she worked hard to remain "normal" under no medication and now she is panicking

    She must go back...
    to her room,
    her routine,
    to safety.
    ^
    The doubts are clouding her mind and it's saying the safer way is the better way obviously but she made it so far so good but again the brain is a fragile thing and can easily be tampered with. That being said she wants a safety net and not panic every single time there's a bump and the bus makes her jump

    A voice whispers reassurance
    in her ear, instantly calming her
    insecurity.
    ^
    Here's what is amazing to me she actually has a conscious! She knows what she is literally doing there's nothing really wrong with her that I can tell just yet. A voice hmmm is it normal to hear a voice telling you it's alright? Hmm probably not and I know for a fun fact I hardly hear mine but I know that people are different but she is probably insane if she hears a whisper I hope that whisper tells her to keep herself safe

    More glances land her way
    as she quickly remembers
    his warning -
    she must not be noticed.
    ^
    Curious she is noticed and someone told her what to do so she could blend in very nice I enjoyed reading this part since how can you not be noticed when people know who you are by how you act and how you dress? I wonder how she'll make it or not she is smart so she doing the best to cover up her slip up I bet

    "Be invisible" she murmurs to herself.
    It is the mantra he instructed her
    to use when they first dreamt of
    an orphic life together,
    far away from the dreary walls
    and the pad-locked door that she's
    called home for unknown years.
    ^
    Ah now it is admitted that she really was in an asylum and how they weren't "normal" nor "mentally sane" but they had a romance they had even dreamed of being together outside their "dreary walls" which is amazing how much detail you put in the asylum part and the romance people could have in an asylum but love is always out of control creepy love found in an asylum but still a love nice job and the detail that they don't know how much time has passed is nice since I'm sure they don't keep a clock never mind a calendar in an asylum!

    Passengers continue to pass,
    arriving to their destination
    or climbing aboard, each one
    peering over newspapers and
    listening to the young woman
    chuckling and conversing with
    the empty seat beside her.
    ^
    God if this doesn't tell you she's insane I don't know what will this is by far my favorite stanza since it describes how she is truly insane by talking to someone that is not there. Even laughing at something that isn't there or a memory that others don't see or know is called weird in our society, and the sad fact that she was happy with nothing physically there shows how far gone her sanity truly is, how it doesn't matter that she ran away from it she will be put back since nothing is beside her and she thinks it normal, and even having a conversation with air will and would no doubt make the person see a therapist or be locked in a psychiatric hospital but of course she escaped that I forgot not but this is her get away to a new place to call home still beautiful, and it shows here that she doesn't know where exactly she's going but she will make a new life for herself

    The call for last stop of the day
    echoes through the train.
    She makes her way through the
    crowd and prances onto the
    sidewalk, holding hands with
    freedom, allowing the voice she
    came to love lead the way.
    ^
    The finial stanza and oh Lord help us she is now free to make her life however she pleases it's interesting how she is in love with herself to be honest or is it freedom that became a resemblance of a human man in her mind that she just grew to love? Maybe she had the desire and the will to make it but for being in a place where your very essence was contained and tried to be controlled destroyed her ability to think right or maybe she never did but her determination was what drove her to break out... I truly loved this last stanza but my favorite will always be the second to last forever in this poem

    Overall very intriguing and darkly beautiful, creative, and yet inspiring because she had a desire and she made it all the way though I'm sure she shouldn't have if this poem was true. Thank you again Hannah 5/5

    -Mori

  • 3 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Cheeso! How on Earth did I manage to miss this poem?? :( So sorry about that - this is one of those moments where I kick myself for not keeping up sooner with the club poems!!!

    anyway, the poem itself, what can I say?? Your title really captivates me, really contradictive to the cliché of escaping insanity, so I loved the idea on the twist.

    I love that imagery of those tablets going flying out the window of the car! I felt a sense of sarcastic humour in that opening. I even love how you gave her cheek a pocket, it is like she has been used to taking these for so long, that her mouth has become accustomed to it, but right now she feels she needs to be her own sanity, and not this sanity that only medicine alone creates! This in itself, is a very deep topic, and can lead to further thoughts.

    The strange thing about this poem is the loneliness this person feels, like no one around her even notices her, or cares for her. It is almost like she does not exist, which is how it can feel when you are severely depressed, or insane!

    It is interesting that she is lonely, and yet find company and comfort from herself. I just find this poem so moving, because I feel it is a very true story, that it happens all so often that people get hooked on meds and it really changes them and makes them feel like walking zombies in a strange world, yet it does do the job and keeps them sane.

    However, I like the idea of this poem still, in that it beats the cliché of being sane, and instead shows the story of someone who rebels the idea of sanity, and basks in the idea of being herself, even if it means insanity wins.

    Detailed write as always!