I'm really sad that I hadn't read this poem sooner.. I'm always such a fan of your work and feel so inspired when I read your words.
"i had the structure of science and thought"
this... this is beautiful. Also love the lowercase i's, as though you're not truly the subject - which is later confirmed. Beautiful imagery and all that poetic stuff, of course, but the emotions of a poem, that's what draws me in, and this is oozing with it.