Comments : Cold

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Hello Maher

    This piece is rich in imagery, beautifully written and an absolute pleasure to read. A very accomplished write and one I will nominate on Monday when I have some votes!

    All the very best and take care,
    Ben

    • 8 years ago

      by Maher

      Thanks Ben, I'm very glad you enjoyed reading it.

      All the very best to you too my friend. Stay safe :)
      -Maher

  • 8 years ago

    by Hellon

    I love when I see a longer poem from you because I just know I'm going to get lost in a beautiful tale with some great word usage and imagery. As always, the flow is beautiful and just drags the reader in and keeps them there...wonderful write!

    A little suggestion...

    Empty shells become but voids in sand
    claiming all history from the sea.
    The stars all flicker in a universal stand.
    Fair Morse code in harmony.

    You used the word 'all' twice here and it just distracted me a little.

    • 8 years ago

      by Maher

      Thanks Hellon, this is why I love your feedback!

      Hope it reads better now :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Such beauty in your writing which makes it most enjoyable to read.

    My best stanza is '
    Shuffle, child. Here alone you might stand
    To pry the sleepless from their chains.
    Found to gold with lead in hand -
    The air does feel a little strange.'
    Just mesmerized me.

    • 8 years ago

      by Maher

      Thank you ma'am, I'm glad it resonated with someone out there :)