Comments : Provoke.

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    This is beautifully written and i think there may be many different interpretations about this piece.

    I try to stir you
    gently
    into my mug,
    no sugar
    no drugs
    so when I sip my eyes
    warm as my tongue
    tastes nostalgia
    and I am lucky
    to be only
    slightly
    harmed.
    ^^
    I like this opening you take something so simple and make it so elegant. The stirring of another so you can drink them and feel them within you is a pretty good image. You didn't add drugs or sugar which shows you took them all for what they were and only ended up slightly hurt, I love hat concept.

    Images are buried
    in my ribs then
    wither
    out of my mouth -
    I see everything
    I have apathy
    yet I sense a barrier,
    something blocking
    the heart's ability
    to speak
    without words.
    ^^
    Again lovely imagery of images being imprinter on somebodies rib not allowing them to escape and do you really want then to even if they do wither out your mouth? I love how you are trying to talk in this stanza but that something is stopping you, probably the fear of saying the wrong thing?

    I need your liquid
    comfort to tell me
    that I am here.
    Alive.
    Human.
    That I can feel,
    sense pain in others
    besides myself.
    That these flashbacks
    aren't forever cemented
    in my brain,
    that I will be able to
    mourn for their
    existence,
    for what I learned
    for I can no longer
    walk with some of them.
    ^^
    This is my favourite part because you are trying to come to terms with things from your past that are imprinted on your mind and want to let them go by speaking of them and feeling something real by sipping on someone's liquid, their comfort to you be wise in our times of need we all need comforting sometime.

    I beg God to cry tonight...
    Not selfishly, not to show
    off to others but to
    be able to feel the struggle
    for sanity
    again.
    ^^
    Here I feel you are in a self pity mood not for yourself but for your sanity. You want to scream, shout, cry anything to let to?

    Tears suggest that the pain
    will soon fade away,
    and I may someday breathe
    courageously
    without cinders and spirits
    writing my shadow
    for me.
    ^^
    A wonderful ending. Tears do usually represent pain but they could represent something else, joy that you have your sanity again, you feel real again and can breathe without all this burden on your shoulders because you have let go of it.

    Great write, Em