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by Bradley Peter
A very tight and precise piece. I very much enjoyed the writing. The lines were small, and yet each one had it's use. There seemed to be no 'fillers'.
I have some observations and suggestions if you will permit me.
In the fourth line of the first stanza, I think 'lefts' is supposed to be 'lifts'. However I could just have not understood what you were driving at. If this be the case, I apologise.
Loved the last line of the second stanza. I think it's my favourite. Purely for the sake of alliteration, I think.
In the last line of the third stanza, I think you're able to include a 'the' in between 'from' and 'evil'. Again, this may've been a conscience decision, and if so, once again, apologies.
Lastly, for me, leaving the last stanza with only two lines make it feel unfinished. It's like an abrupt stop. Maybe that's how you want us to feel, but I'm unsure.
P.S. Please comment and vote honestly on every piece you read.