Comments : Blood on the Rocks

  • 1 year ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello Michael,

    A lovely tight rhyming (a,b,a,b) biblical based poem here.

    It seems humankind is intent on sin; ignoring lessons from the past. War only serves for spilling blood, beating man into submission. Surely we know better that an eye for eye means poor sight for everyone!

    I have a couple of suggestions, I hope you don't mind.

    2nd verse, last line: change 'needs' for 'needed'

    4th verse, 3rd line: adding the word 'on' between 'dirt' and 'his' may improve the flow.

    Michael, a lovely poem with an important message to us all.

    Take care,

    Michael

  • 1 year ago

    by Bradley Peter

    Hello,

    I'm not very familiar with Cain and Abel, other than I know they're in the Bible - and I think they were brothers - so I'm not able to get much of a connection (that is my fault), but the poem itself did feel like it was important, and something I should know. There was an epic-ness - for want of a better word - to it. It felt like advice. Few poems do, and I really enjoyed that aspect of it.

    Regards,

    Bradley

    P.S. Please comment and vote honestly on every piece you read.