A lovely rhyming piece, fluently put together and a pleasure to read,
1 year ago
Michael, this is a truly beautiful piece which has been put together well. A father (I feel) also has to earn a right to be called that (a long with mothers) especially if they mistreat us and they definitely don't have to be blood.
A father is a parent,apparently so.
lovingly planting the seed and watching it grow
Nurture and nature we have come to understand
in a poetic sense often works hand in hand
A truly wonderful opening. As I said, a father earns his right (like any mother should too) in mistreatment and biological fathers aren't always the best. Anyway, yes they 'plant their seed and watch us grow' into the people (hopefully) they want us to become, making them proud. We all need nurture but nature sometimes takes its toll and we their guidance
And nature cannot just take what it does not give
Our flesh is temporal on this earth where we live
In the heart memories always last a lifetime
Eternal birth is a mystery so sublime
Perfect ending. We have to reap what we sow, so to speak.
your writing is always perceptive and skillfully crafted.
Being a father has its responsibilities - choosing to become one means being aware of ones own actions. I believe that nature plays a larger part than nature.
I was watching a programme about young children who have body image issues. How can this be genetic - self esteem issues like this are learned (nature) It is our role as parents to teach our children that happiness is within and comes from the simple things that life has to offer. Making memories that last from this tender age is vital as they will in turn help to shape the adult they will become.
Eternal birth: I get from this that births are occurring everywhere all the time - and will continue. This idea is sublime, but true, so lets make the most of it and do the parenting right, right?
I maybe way off here Michael, but your poetry always makes me think on a deeper level and I thank you for this.
What I liked a bout this poem is that it seemed to stem from a quite confidence. It felt calm and still. And wise. Perhaps it was it's wisdom that filled me with the aforementioned.
I have no idea what it was, so I can't pin-point it for you, and give useful feedback, I'm afraid, but I do know I enjoyed it. I think the subject matter and the language generally help to give it such a wonderful tone.
I also think it was a good length. Using fewer lines give one the opportunity to really hone their writing, and make sure every line - nay, every word - counts, and you did that here.
I think the only thing I would say that not complimentary about this poem, was the use of the word 'apparently' in the first line. For me, it kind of jars against the tone of the piece. It feels slightly sarcastic.
P.S. Please comment and vote honestly on every piece you read.