Comments : Tales of a Bag Lady (Part I)

  • 10 months ago

    by Em

    I really enjoyed this Hellon

  • 10 months ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Nicely executed. The story is outlined: two ladies brief liason on adjacent travellators. This scene is more about the shared unspoken dialogue. It begs the reader to wonder what the back story is.

    Just a suggestion, if the poem faded instead of an end question it would stand alone, whilst still setting up the prequel.

    Like this:

    What was her name I wondered,

    as she faded from view...

    Just an idea. ;)

    Take care,

    Michael x

    • 10 months ago

      by Hellon

      I like your idea Michael and I have changed it around....thanks for that :)