Comments : Barren

  • 2 years ago

    by BlueJay

    The flow to this piece is a little awkward, but I like the imagery you used and the style that comes from your own unique voice. There are a lot of really awesome elements to this piece, and a handful that honestly let me down.

    "What does one do when one discovers
    soul mates do not exist
    Did we really live?
    Did we really cry?
    Who are we?"

    ^ This stanza in particular left me rereading it hoping for something a little more stunning buried beneath the surface. The repetition annoyed me to the point of losing interest in the piece.

    Otherwise this piece was decent. I hope to read more from you, especially if it has such interesting images again!

    • 2 years ago

      by Domenico Sottile

      BlueJay: I am thankful for the time you took in thoroughly analyzing my poem. Perhaps what you found awkward is the fact that English is not my native language. Leitmotifs sometimes are interpreted as repetitiveness. I appreciate your positive view of the imagery. Thank you!