Milly, a sad write but you really wrote this beautifully. When we are young we never stop to think of all the misery we put up in our folks. Hindsite is one of those things we don't realize until much further down the road. Well done-
Wow Milly! This brought a tear to my eye. I'm sure this poem brought his mum so much comfort at what must have been such a devastating time for her.
Beautifully written and rhymed. Heartfelt and poignant. Amazing! Xx
4 months ago
by Joanna Allanson
Great poem. I think it is a sad poem but actually in many ways quite uplifting and offers hope.
Milly, when the rest of us are busy in writing about our problems, our daily experience, are anxieties, and our darkest moments you chose to write about someone whom I think you didn't even know.
Perhaps, you got to know about this 28 year young man from the newspaper or someone in your neighborhood told you about him.
Milly, the best thing about your poems, as in this one too, they always convey a message.
This time the message is from a young man who obviously isn't between us(May God bless his soul) to his Mum, telling her not to worry about him.
Tone of the poem in the first 10 lines of the says about regret, wrong decisions, mishap lead him to consequences he had to paid.
However, in the rest of the poem it is about strength, merriment, and relaxation.
Theme is obviously a message. I could have said death, but message sounds sober.
A beautiful message full of sentiments telling his Mom, not to worry about him anymore, not to shed anymore tears about him because he is happy more than ever.
That his spirit is now living with free spirit not bounded by the social rules of the world. He is free to live his life just as he wants to.
Telling her that though he wasn't very bright in his actual life, but in his spiritual life he is freed from all pains (mentally and physically). He is away from the shore of all the evil things, safe in the hands of God.
He is living with pride. Everyday he feels like a new adventure, living his life to its fullest.
God has saved him from all the wrong he did or happened to him because of the prayers his mom offered to God and the merciful God has accepted all her prayers by giving her son a place in his heart known as heaven.
Telling her that as she was always by his side in his actual life; in the similar way, he will be with her forever in his spiritual life.
And that she should think more of the good times they spent together rather than the sufferings he had to go through.
Milly, the poem is full of emotions from beginning till the very end.
From technical aspects, the rhyme scheme is as usual the best one could ever read.
Words choice brilliant.
Milly, to be honest, a poem like this looked much better on the front page, but I respect the judges decision too.
At last, I want to congratulate you for the honorable mention.
All the very best for all your future projects in the field of poetry.