Ms. Andi, this is so beautiful, it took me to a trip to sentimental thoughts. The sun shall be rising soon... life goes on. Really lovely.
8 months ago
by Ben Pickard
This has so much going for it: imagery, sadness, hopelessness but a sort of hope and redemption at the end there with the knowledge the sun shall rise again soon.
All the best as ever, Maple,
8 months ago
The metaphor is beautiful here Andrea and to me there could be more than one. I do love the point of view of the drftwood and the imagery you portrayed. In the scenes with the driftwood it seems like you are becoming one with nature or reliving one moment you had in nature. You miss the moments of childhood where everything seems to be free. I love that connection because most people miss those moments.
Another metaphor i noticed is about mental health but you spoke of it well! Because at the beginning you give the reader a thought about how your mental health is feeling. And at the end you grow darker (not only in life as you age, but i picture this poems scene during the night time).
In the second to last line of the poemyou made a typo. Yesterday*
The last line is the best because you could say it has two different meanings. One the obvious as you could picture the poem at night, so the morning is coming soon. Or two the future is looking brighter for you. The sun is rising in your mind, and the outlook will be brighter.
I love this so much, because you told a story well, the imagery is beautiful. <3