Yes, I liked this one very much as well. I absolutely adored the second line. It was so simple, and odd as this may sound, it was the comma - the breath, the pause, the momentary suspension - that I think made it so wonderful. People often get so wrapped up in the words, they forget how important punctuation is. The words tell the story, the punctuation creates the atmosphere.
I also like like lines three and four, but more as a pair than as individual lines. But again, the comma played it's part with graceful precision.
2 months ago
I enjoyed this very much as well. I believe what you are saying here is that this person (whom i presume is a love, a friend, something of that nature) you are very comfortable with. So comfortable in fact that they can say anything to you about their feelings. But if you or they cannot find the words to say, it is ok. Because the silence would not be awkward. Words are what makes your heart melt in general, but this person can make you melt just by touching you. Well written. Also as a tanka i liked it because you used your words well, it is difficult in a restricted poem to use imagery and metaphor but you did both well here i feel.
This reminded me of the song 'you say it best when you say nothing at all' only because I believe this person is special to you and even if word fail any of you it doesn't matter because you're in each others company