Sometimes my days are dark,
And my nights are full of light,
Some days I feel so full of life,
Somedays I have to fight,
Somedays I feel so powerful,
With the world right at me feet,
Somedays my heart is racing with love,
Somedays I miss every beat,
Somedays I worry what others think,
And the result is hurt and pain,
Somedays I feel larger then life,
Somedays I’m full and vein,
I can’t decide what day is next,
Or how I’m going to feel,
I can’t ever know which way I’m going,
Or if inside my mind is real,
So each day I awake with fear,
Of what is next to come,
Wondering if my head will be kind,
Or as loud as a beating drum,
And with this fear comes emotion of plenty,
And reactions I may not see,
And all the while I can’t help but think,
Why did this happen to me,
Forever I’m trapped within my mind,
with feelings of such panic,
And with each day comes new situations,
And emotions that are often manic,
And with that comes a mind full of fog,
So my decisions are never clear,
My smile is big and on show for the world,
So that no one can see my fear,
So if I don’t laugh or I seem mad,
Or you think that I’m upset,
Don’t think it’s you or what you’ve done,
It’s my emotions and my mind set,
With a heart so big and such little control,
I find it hard to explain,
In a simple sentence or a reaction that’s right,
The internal struggle and pain,
So I may react or shout some words,
That I feel in the moment are right,
While I twist and turn and feel so bad,
As the internal struggle I fight,
But what I really mean and what I cannot say,
Is help me please I need you,
But I fear for the eyes of pity and judgment,
So internally struggle is what I do,
I’m working on this each day I breathe,
And I hope you can all bare with me,
Because one day I’ll be able to smile,
And truly happy I will be ??
