Comments : A step closer

  • 1 month ago

    by Maple Tree

    where is the heart button <3

    hugs you my friend

  • 1 month ago

    by Michael

    Short and to the point Mr D
    The pain our hearts endure
    trying to prevent
    an wanted cure

  • 1 month ago

    by Jamie

    This is genuinely one of my favorite poems I've read from you Michael. Perhaps it is how I am feeling now.

    A step closer to death? Maybe. But I'd argue that each second we breathe we could die. It really is something to think about isn't it. You wear your heart on your sleeve is what I believe you are saying here, and if that is the case you don't really hold anything back- you let your emotions flow so to speak. And leaving your heart out makes you vulnerable to pain and a lot of negative feelings affect you more. Which is what you write about in the second line I believe-

    Your heart weeps to see pain. And in the pain your grief is magnified. I do like the subtle touch you made with the line "its tears run red". To me that holds a powerful message. Not only is your heart crying, but you give the reader a visual of the physical pain it holds. I see blood as a cut and that leads to physical pain most days and that can lead to mental illness.

    The blade part is an excellent touch as well because when you cut, you need a blade and in that you grow weaker from the loss of blood. The one step closer to loss, is the perfect ending choice. You hold that pain inside your heart because you are losing someone. And that brings the pain into you.

    This poem is not only well written, but each line is actually a great continuation of the other. You tell an amazing story in 4 lines. In my favorites and I will nominate this if possible.

    Edit- I am saddened I cannot nominate but it is worthy.

    • 1 month ago

      by - Mr. Darcy

      Jamie, I'm glad you liked and appreciated its deeper meanings.
      As for the nomination, thanks for the thought.
      Take care.