well written, I really like this poem. I like the way it rhyms.. the end line is my favorite. I can relate to this poem well... great job!

WOW!!!! i love this whole poem. I love the beginning of it :
*

Bodies rotten, the dead forgotten.
Tortured souls, missing holes.
Painful love, is God above?
Your hate thrives, your tongue lies.
Your greed infests, your mind never rests

that is my favorite part. You did an amazing job this one!

Wonderful, well written and very powerful! Great job!

i wonder why you find it disturbing? Is it because of my perception of the world and how negative but true it is? Or is it because you agree with what i am saying and find it hard to believe the actual realisation of how disgraceful our world is? Or is it perhaps because you never realised before how other people outlook on the world was, because i dont beleiev anything which i say in this poem is wrong or unbelievable, unless of course you are religious and dont beleive god has failed. I am not really trying to say god has failed, but more we have failed to meet up to his expectations by how we ruin his world, as we are supposed to be stweards but rather than protect the world we have ruined it.
and the last line Lucifer, was merely to suggest, that rather than let the world kill or destroy me i would rather kill myself, as the world would in time hence the part 'i have done thy deed' as he created the world that would kill me physically and mentally.

lol, it was metaphorical i dont actually cut myself! :)

kewl poem! keep up the good work...and thanx a lot 4 ur gr8 comment!!:)

Great poem. i have a poem called "isn't it time" and its much like this one but with my view of the world. U should read it sometime. Either God 's a sadist or the devil won. Or there is no God. xmollyxx

Your eyes are open but you don't see.

This poem was written very well. Though I must say, I don't believe that God has made any failure in our world. But that's my opinion. A good write. keep it up!

~Grace

Wow.....awesome poem and I mean awesoem! thanks for your comments on my poems and keep up the good work!!! ~dandy~

I like it... very dark.. u put it in the rite category!

Wow!!!!!!!!! Great poem, the sad thing is that it is so true these days.

Nice stuff.....love your poems u know wat sometimes even i think that gods just human...its like we were his dreams but well he messed up big time

Like they say in metallica

"Broken is the promise, betrayal
The healing hand held back by the deepened nail

Follow the god that failed "

brilliant!

I love this poem! Keep up the great work! Hopefully things will be better in the end.

awesome poem! i loved it! keep in touch!
lexi lou

WOW!! :) What a very neat poem, I loved it so much, I really love the words you use, they bring across so much feelings :) This is a great piece of work. Keep it up :)

dark, dark poem. it's thought-provoking but that maybe because we know some of the content is true. a very strong message. keep writing. take care:)

Hmm.. I see so much in this poem. Both negative & posive focus. I don't c it as a deppressive poem. Maybe the last like could be likened to Christ death on the cross & his final words? Its a deeep [oem well thought out and a priviledge to comment upon. You have a gift beyond your years.

hey this was really great! wow so much power in it i could really feel the emotions run wild! well done darling :)

wonderful poem....you should read my poem "angel of mine", they are pretty alike...i think you might find mine quite touching, in a dark way, lol

christa//no motiv?