Comments : Our "wonderful world"

  • 12 years ago

    by Unseen Exposure


    I've got to hand it to you, you've done a miraculous job on this. Each line transfers into the next so well, and it makes the poem flow.
    I really enjoyed this stanza-
    "Minds are sick and collapsing
    suddenly shortness of breath
    pain continues relapsing
    soon only nothing will be left,
    voices continue to scream
    victims are tortured and cry
    wading in a crimson stream
    souls are broken and die"
    ^ Those few lines are just so powerful. The way you invision the world is unlike any other before. You always leave me wondering. Excellent job. That was really moving.

  • 12 years ago

    by Gracie Jo

    Oh my gosh! This is so awesome!!! I loved it! And I can see how it would be a song.. it's excellent! Great job, hun!!! I really do love this! Thank you for your comment, it meant a lot to me. Take care and keep writing!

  • 12 years ago

    by Mentally_Unable

    I LOVE THIS POEM. There is something really different about it, I can't put my hand on it but there is something really different about it. I loved the words you choosed to express urself in this poem this is truely a beautiful work of art.

  • 12 years ago

    by Lucy

    to hell the earth has been led
    angels continue to stray

    to paste all i have found intereging, would be pasting the whole poem, brillant and posessing...im in awe that such a talent commented on my soul...the art you have within is greedy and filled with honest talent...my sister, who is spending itme in jail, i mail letters to her that will inspire, the letters contain things i have found inspiring, this will be in the next one...thank you so much, its been a while since ive read talent...thank you
    Lee nicole

  • 12 years ago

    by FTS Miles

    Grim, but poignant. There's got to be someone you know who can put it to music; work with you to develop an appropriate feel. Admittedly, having found out at the end that there is a chorus, I'd like to have been able to read that as well, long or otherwise.