I've got to hand it to you, you've done a miraculous job on this. Each line transfers into the next so well, and it makes the poem flow.
I really enjoyed this stanza-
"Minds are sick and collapsing
suddenly shortness of breath
pain continues relapsing
soon only nothing will be left,
voices continue to scream
victims are tortured and cry
wading in a crimson stream
souls are broken and die"
^ Those few lines are just so powerful. The way you invision the world is unlike any other before. You always leave me wondering. Excellent job. That was really moving.
Oh my gosh! This is so awesome!!! I loved it! And I can see how it would be a song.. it's excellent! Great job, hun!!! I really do love this! Thank you for your comment, it meant a lot to me. Take care and keep writing!
I LOVE THIS POEM. There is something really different about it, I can't put my hand on it but there is something really different about it. I loved the words you choosed to express urself in this poem this is truely a beautiful work of art.
to hell the earth has been led
angels continue to stray
to paste all i have found intereging, would be pasting the whole poem, brillant and posessing...im in awe that such a talent commented on my soul...the art you have within is greedy and filled with honest talent...my sister, who is spending itme in jail, i mail letters to her that will inspire, the letters contain things i have found inspiring, this will be in the next one...thank you so much, its been a while since ive read talent...thank you
Grim, but poignant. There's got to be someone you know who can put it to music; work with you to develop an appropriate feel. Admittedly, having found out at the end that there is a chorus, I'd like to have been able to read that as well, long or otherwise.