Althogh its a traditional subject to write about, but I believe that everyone his unique way writting about something. and you do have your style, and its really nice to share writing a poem with friends, I love this idea.
but I think the girl shouldn't kill her self, If the boy left her for another, he wouldnt even worth hurting herself for such a person. That's how i think things should be with such people
That was so sad.