Very intriguing. Nice use of the subject.

*sigh* I loved it again!! Love your poetry sunshine!!

Take care

Hippie
xx

Beautiful
Surprising ending

I have to say.
This was quite overwhelming.
IAlthough it's too much,
It IS your writing,
So I'm guessing it'd be good :]

and now it is time, that remains my only slack.
I didn't like the way you worded that.
Also... that didn't feel like it made that much sense.

This was...
Riveting dear.
The story?
Eye catching.
Although puctuation was somewhat off
IT was...
Beautiful.
5/5 :]

Aaaaaaaaaah it was nice work take care 5/5

Hey,
First all im sorry for the l;ateness of these comments. Ive had loads of work to do so..
Anyways, i likesd the title of this poem. Made me ownder what the poem was about. You used rhyming couplets throughtout the poem. It gave it an ok flow. I like the alliteration used; "throat tightens" this helps give the reader this sense.. My mind i could kinda hear the word "ticks" and i can kinda hear the time going pass. It creates this visula image of time going past. The poem tells a story. And the ending is just so sweet. One thing that threw me of this poem was the strture. It kinda seems all over the place. But other then that a good read. Keep writing! xx

Your poem is really superbly rhyming. I liked your choice of words and its just very appropriate. The metaphors and descriptions are great in this piece. You got 5/5 again

I really like this poem...the way you tell a story is amazing! The way you use your words and the way you rhyme them is almost perfect! your a great writer! 5/5

This one was pretty good! i dont really like the structure of it though... and sometimes the rhyming seem forced, but overall i loved the message it sent and and the emotions used! :o]

Exellent poem, really extraordinary, youbroke out of original in this poem and it made it really shine, nice job xxx alex xxx

Interesting... Especially after meeting him and talking to him, he is far more eloquent in text than in conversation. Maybe it's just shyness??? I loved the context, and the way that the plot played out sort of slowly and suprisingly, but agree that the punctuation was a little off in places... and a good thesaurus would help a little. Some of the descriptive adjectives could have been better formulated to flow more easily. Sorry to be critical, but you told me to read it and give you an HONEST opinion... Still luv ya though, keep it up! ~Anita