Comments : It all has to stop.

  • 18 years ago

    by sarah

    A really great idea for a poem but some of the wording is a little um.. choppy. when you said
    Or were humans to late?
    To appreciate the love we had
    or even how you have a variety of forms of poetry in this poem. sometimes its okay to mix up the poetry form but its usually done with a pattern. like how you have
    Before the world goes mad
    Everyone finds something wrong
    with every girl and every lad.
    in this stanza the rhymes are seperated by the middle line. but in stanza 3 they aren't. every other stanza they are though. that makes it sound choppy. but your stanzas fit together wonderfully (each individual stanza) but when they are together it sounds choppy maybe a little chang with the 3rd stanza would sound better. overall this is a good poem. nice job! if you do decide to change it comment me and tell me i would like to read it.