Why cant i be dead???

Staring at the sun
looking in the sky
i think about my life
and i wonder why

why is it so wrong
why is it a mess
can you tell me why
my life cannot be blessed

i go up to my room
sit on the bed
with thoughts racing
all round my head

i get off the bed
and crouch on the floor
i bury my head in my hands
" i cant take this anymore"!!

i go out on the street
i've sat on my bed
i've crouched on the floor
why cant i be dead!!??!!