Comments : My sorrow...

  • 11 years ago

    by dwight

    Nice poem. I like the idea, but the lines are a bit long. It is not fluent to read and it doesn't make it look like a poem, so if you're not insulted by what I just wrote I would suggest, write shorter lines, samotimes less is better,
    you said you just started with poetry, well, I don't belive you ;). It was too good, keep it up
    I am torn between:
    4.2-4.5/5, but I can only give it a 5/5 so that is what I will do
    dwight

  • 11 years ago

    by Spanish Star

    Thanks Chelsey. I`m so sorry for your loss. I have lost the two persons that I loved the most in life, and no know that I probobly can survive any pain. But it will never go away and always be a part of me. And that is what I tried to tell with this poem...

  • 8 years ago

    by Dark Savior

    I can see you face like I was holding a picture in my hand

    -I can see you're face

    that is just a small error and really takes nothing away from this poem. It's truly amazing, I love it, I actually added it to my favorites for a wonderful reason, the sand line...wow...that is amazing, it's probably one of the best on this entire site.

    I love this poem and please continue to write.

    Thank you for your comment. I'm sorry that you lost your sister, I know that you would give anything to have her back. I truly am sorry that you lost someone so dear to you..to make such an amazing piece of art.

    5/5