The night I died

Where were you when I really needed you
I was lost,betrayed,confused I did not know what to do
I called you and ran away from my fears and ran for my life
know i now that you will never be there for me so I used the knife

I walk home everyday alone,miserable and always mad
you where never there when I was really happy and sad
as I walk home to my shaggy miserable front door
I stayed thinking would anyone miss me if i fell on the floor

or if i went to my muddy empty yard and slipped into the pool
would anyone miss me even the students at school
I jingled the keys in the pocket and decided to go ring the bell
as I was heading for the room my heart was aching so I fell

When I awoke the next morning i was in the blue gown
did not know where I was at first then I began to frown
I noticed i was at the hospital it must have been something bad
I looked towarda my right and saw my sleepy mom and dad

I wanted to talk to them say I'm sorry about everything i have done
but they walked to wards me saying I'm still there number one
I started to cry and realized that life is more then wanting death
and I told them that i really loved them and took my last breath

as my parents slowly watched me die it was time for me to go
when I was lifted up wards to heaven I was sad to look below
I had thirteen happy and depressing years with my folks
I'll aways remember the time when my dad could not tell jokes

and my mother always seemed happy with everything she had
even though there are days i can look in her eyes and there sad
but she always hides her sorrow and that why I love her so
I know it will be hard for her to let this tragic nightmare go

but I must tell you why and how I died that lonesome night
I know I would have been happier but things where not right
I dated a boy for a year who i thought I would love forever
then one Friday night I was at his house I'll always remember

He tied me to his bed and used and abused me for hours
I was ashamed I thought he loved me when he brought me flowers
I got fed up with the abusing and that my heart and mind now kills
so i decided i could not live any longer and so i swallowed lots of pills

So that lonesome night when I walked home alone i got the chills
because that night i was going to die as i walk toward the hills
up to my little house where i have lived since i was born
that night felt my heart was beating faster tell it was torn